Self-dependant

Love.
The crazy, stupid feeling.

You wake up at 4am and turn to the cold, empty side of your bed.
Revisiting past lovers in your dreams.
You eat your breakfast in an empty house,
the blurred sounds of a love song playing on the radio behind you.

Our world has taught us that finding love
is the equivalent to finding meaning in our lives.
If you believe that, you’re already doomed from the start.

You’ll find yourself falling in love with the idea of a person.
You’ll meet soul after soul, transforming them into someone else in your mind,
romanticising every word that comes out of their mouth and every freckle on their face.

Growing up with parents who have been happily married for 3 decades, I saw the world through love and a partner being the ultimate goal in life.
I’m a hopeless romantic.
I always will be.
Past lovers have left me broken in two,
walking with a numb heart and a tired soul,
yet I still somehow believe in the concept of love.

However, you need to know, true happiness can be achieved without love.
There is so much more life has to offer
than screaming at another human being for not loving you the way you desire.
There are places to explore, skills to develop, and friendships to find that will fulfil you in a way that love can’t.

There has been nothing more momentous and significant in my life
than learning how to be truly self dependant.
Packing my bags and moving to a town on the other side of the world where I did not know a single soul, walking into an empty house every single day, and having to push myself out of bed on days where depression pins me down to the floor.

I did it. Without love.
Without having someone to tell how my day has been.
You can do it to.
You don’t need someone. You can want love.
You can want all the incredible experiences that come with it.
But you do not need it.

You already have everything you will ever need in life
within your own soul.

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